Mom4Life

Greased Down

 "You pour oil on my head.
      My cup runs over.
 I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me
      all the days of my life."

Psalm 23:5b-6a

I don't understand some sports. Well, really. I don't understand most sports. It really isn't my strong suit.  I really don't understand what makes some sports appealing to watch. One of the ones I really don't get? Boxing. Two men get in a ring and fight on purpose. They punch each other and make each other bleed....and people cheer and scream and think it is exciting.

I don't get it.

I did learn something new tonight, however, as I was sitting here blogging while my husband watched the sport in question. I learned that boxers put Vaseline on their face before the fight. Why? Apparently to lessen the impact of the punch as the opponent's glove slides off their face.

Hmmm.....

It got me thinking. I LOVE the relationships shown throughout Scripture of the natural to the spiritual. One such illustration is that oil is used to represent the Holy Spirit. Oil was used to fill the lampstand in the tabernacle, that was to be forever kept burning and never put out. It represented our continual need for the Holy Spirit. People were anointed with oil to show that God had a special purpose for them, or when they were being prayed over for healing.

So if we think through this in the spiritual, what happens when we are "greased" down with the Holy Spirit and someone throws a punch at us? The enemy's glove slides off!

That is how we can tolerate the hatred of the world, friends! That is how we can keep our confidence in the Lord while being bombarded with insults. Because we let the Holy Spirit grease us down. He makes us slick, so the attacks slide off.  

With your kids...

Consider doing something with your kids that will illustrate these concepts to them.

1. You could polish or waterproof a pair of shoes then drop water on them and watch it bead up.
2. Wax the car together and the spray it down and watch the water bead up.
3. Pour oil in a measuring cup, then dump it out. Then fill the same cup with something sticky like honey or molasses. Then dump out the sticky stuff and watch it slide right out.
4. Play catch, but butter your hands up first.

Talk about how when we belong to Jesus, the Holy Spirit seals us up like a waterproof coating. Others can say mean things to us or hurt our feelings, but Jesus will help it slide right off if we let Him. We can keep forgiving and loving people because Jesus is the one that loves us. It is okay if others don't always show us love. We can give them some of our extra, because Jesus gives us more than we need.

by Angela Gifford

www.thosewithyoungblog.com

He Loves Us Intensely by Angela Gifford

  ⁴But God--so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us,

    ⁵Even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved (^[a]delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation).

    ⁶And He raised us up together with Him and made us sit down together [giving us ^[b]joint seating with Him] in the heavenly sphere [by virtue of our being] in Christ Jesus (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

    ⁷He did this that He might clearly demonstrate through the ages to come the immeasurable (limitless, surpassing) riches of His free grace (His unmerited favor) in [His] kindness and goodness of heart toward us in Christ Jesus.

    ⁸For it is by free grace (God's unmerited favor) that you are saved (^[c]delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God;

    ⁹Not because of works [not the fulfillment of the Law's demands], lest any man should boast. [It is not the result of what anyone can possibly do, so no one can pride himself in it or take glory to himself.]

    ¹⁰For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), ^[d]recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]. Ephesians 2:4-10 Amplified Version

If you can, print this passage out and highlight every mention of God's love, mercy, kindness, grace, favor, and goodness.

It is His intense love for us that motivated Him to give His life for us. It is His intense love for us that motivates his desire for fellowship and union with us. It is His intense love for us that offers us salvation. It is His intense love for us that motivated Him to prearrange "the good life" for us.

That is beyond good news to this little, curly-headed workaholic. Let me tell you a little about me. I come from a long blood line of "what will people think?" philosophy. I have spent way too many years trying to keep all the rules...not just God's rules, but people's rules, and people's interpretation of God's rules. So many rules.

How many times I have kept the rules and completely missed the heart of God. How about you?

If you haven't heard my heart by now, please hear it today. God wants you! He loves you intensely. He isn't interested in what you think you can do or how well you think you can keep all the rules. He wants to be in fellowship with you.

Without being in relationship with Jesus, how can we:

• follow Him?
• be changed by Him?
• deny ourselves?
• do His will?
• remain in Him?

We can't! We can either spend our whole lives trying to decorate ourselves on the outside, so we look good; OR we can truly join with Jesus, have a relationship with Him, abide in Him and enjoy the life He planned for us - bear the fruit that He will produce in us.

If you haven't ever had that kind of relationship with Jesus, it can start today. I beg you to begin!

I'm praying for you today. I'd love to hear from you if Jesus wins your heart today.  You can comment here or e-mail me at angela@thosewithyoung.com.

When His Face Lights Up

"It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them." Psalm 44:3

Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was to realize how important it is to light up when your kids walk in the room. The smile of approval answers the question, "Am I wanted here? Am I in the way? Is anyone glad I'm around?"  How many times I've failed at this. The disappointed look to the child that woke up too early or interrupted a moment of quiet, can speak volumes to a child.

I'm not sure we ever outgrow it really. I'm the first one to look for a smiling face in a crowded room. I still want to know that I belong, that I'm wanted there.

This verse conveys how God the Father lights up when His kids walk in the room. The word "loved" here means "to be pleased, to delight in, accept, to be favored, be esteemed, to be accepted, to enjoy, to regain favor." The Heavenly Father lights up when we walk into the room because he delights in us. He favors us. He enjoys us!

We are victorious because we are loved. Love changes everything, doesn't it?

by Angela Gifford

www.thosewithyoung.com

Showers - and the God that is always working behind the scenes!

One morning, not so long ago, I had just started my shower when the infamous knocking on the door began. It caused me to wonder, which plan worked better? The "prepare everyone that I'm taking a shower, and I'll be done in just a second" plan - so they know where I am and don't worry about anything? Or the "sneak to the shower quickly while everyone is busy and hope I can get out before anyone notices I'm gone and have any need to track me down" plan?

Now obviously the plan one chooses has a bit to do with the age of the children you are leaving outside the shower. But at this stage in my life (with kids ages 5-12), I've decided that usually sneaking through is the best plan. I'm done before they miss me, and I get a shower in peace, rather than 2.5 minutes of knocking during my 3 minute shower. "Mom!...Clayton did..."  "Mom, can I..." "Mom, when are you going to be out?!"

That got me thinking about how God is with us. We often think that if we just knew His plan, we would be able to deal with things - if we just knew what He was up too. But I'm convinced, that when God reveals to me what He is up to, I pester more, just like the little kid banging on the bathroom door. "How long is it going to take? When are you going to take care of this? You said you would do this. Why aren't you doing it?" But, if God sneaks behind the scenes and prepares things without me knowing, and then"Boom!" its ready....I'm just thrilled and excited have never dealt with the impatience.

Either way, He is doing the same work behind the scenes....but with the first scenario, I'm often frustrated with his timing, and sometimes even ungrateful for the results. After all, I expected it. But with the last scenario, I'm surprised again by what God had planned all along.

I'm choosing today to trust what God is doing behind the scenes. What about you?

Angela Gifford
www.thosewithyoung.com
twitter @thosewithyoung
Daily Scripture verse discussions on Facebook

Dirty Mirrors by Angela Gifford

I stepped back and stared at the bathroom mirror. It looked much worse than before I tried to clean it. I wondered if there had been something soapy on the mirror that had spread a film across it as I wiped it. So I decided to try again. Surely it just needed a second attempt. But that didn't help at all. It was still horribly filmy. I remembered hearing something about not using fabric softenener on rags used for cleaning glass. I'd never had problem with my rags before, but maybe - just maybe...there was something in the rag?  So I threw it down the laundry chute and grabbed another rag. One more attempt and I was dumbfounded. Why on earth couldn't I get this mirror clean?!

 Suddenly, it all became clear (at least in my head)! Mirrors come the cleanest when cleaned with glass cleaner. I had mistakenly used the bottle of all-purpose spray!  No amount of re-wiping and new rags was going to help as long as I was using the wrong cleaner. So, I gave my forehead a little slap and found the glass cleaner.  Beautiful!

The whole ordeal caused me to think about cleaning up our lives. Ephesians 5:26 speaks of washing ourselves with the water of God's Word. In the Old Testament, the laver of water stood before the entrance to the tabernacle. The priests had to ceremoniously wash before entering the tent. It was symbolic of the cleansing of God's Word. Some churches still have a ceremonious place to wash at their entrance. It is a symbolism of the need to keep ourselves pure. But we often forget that it is by God's Word, that we are cleansed. His Word is purifying. Hebrews 11:12-13 speaks of how God's Word exposes our hearts. It brings sin to the surface and helps us see what impurities need to be cleaned out. It convicts, brings us to repentance, and then gives us hope of how to change.

We are often guilty of using so many things to help us feel better about our lives. We've been sold on this concept of "self-improvement." We try new haircuts, exercise programs, circles of friends, activities, hobbies...anything that will make us feel better - do better - "be" better. But it all still leaves this gaping hole in our heart that is longing to be filled with the Word of God. I'm all for a new haircut... and definitely need to do better at exercising. But the deepest needs of my heart (and any human heart) are only found in the peace we have when we are right with the Lord - when our hearts are clean according to His standards.

So the next time you are cleaning a mirror, think about what steps you are taking to clean your heart. I know I will!

I've Got People! by Angela G.

Everyone wants people.  H&R block plugs that using their services for your taxes will give you people. We often poke fun at VIP’s by saying “You have your people call my people….”  Moms need people! Why? We ARE VIP’s!  Lots of people depend on us, and we really can’t (in spite of our best efforts) do it all on our own.

We often put way too much pressure on ourselves to be able to do it all, and we feel weak or embarrassed to ask anyone for help.  But God never meant for us to do it all alone. He always intended for us to be there for each other.

As a fairly independent personality, it’s taken me a while to see my own need for support. But in recent years, I’ve been “collecting“ people. I have doctors that keep tab on my chemicals, mentors  that tell me when I need to change something in my life, siblings that watch my kids so I can have a night with my husband, teachers that pour into the lives of my children every day, and a home group that brings meals when my husband is out of town and I’m handling it all by myself. …and then there are friends! Friends that help me laugh when life doesn’t feel so funny; friends that force me to get out for a night when I’ve forgotten how bad I need it; friends that remind me to turn to Jesus when I’m struggling;  friends that let me share my stories;  friends that call me when they need help (filling my need to be someone else’s “people”);  friends that encourage my hobbies; and friends that refuse to let me forget my passions and callings.

I’m a mom. I’m a VIP, and I’ve got people! Have you started your “collection?”

I'm SO Thirsty! by Angela Gifford

I never was very good as staying hydrated. I just wasn't thirsty. My mom used to say that one day I would just dry up and blow away! My first pregnancy, I was admitted to the hospital with severe dehydration that was causing pre-term later. You think I would have learned, but I just wasn't really ever that thirsty.

Recently, my doctor gave me a good scare about some things in my health; and one of the basic things in my new regimen is measuring my water intake and DRINKING IT!  Five weeks into this new routine, I have discovered something. I'm Thirsty! I'm thirsty all the time. If I'm anywhere without my water bottle, I start to get fidgety and wonder how long I can go. I really think I just needed to learn to be thirsty.

I really think that in many ways, our desire to be in God's Word is much the same.  When you have never been in the habit of reading God's Word, you don't even know what you are missing. If you have gotten out of the habit of being in the Word (as happens to many moms at some point), you may have forgotten what it is like to be thirsty! It happens so subtly. 

Sometimes we have to literally train ourselves to thirst for God's Word, in the same way I had to train my body to thirst for water. It's hard to develop any habit in the busy season of motherhood, when we're already grabbing two minutes for an army shower or four minutes to make sure we don't leave the house without breakfast after we've fed everyone else.

But there are some ways that we can work it into our lifestyle creatively.

Here are some that I've found:

The Gospels Come to Life  and The Bible Experience are just a couple of the many available options to listen to the Bible on CD. You can play it in the car or while you are doing almost anything at home. You might not catch it all. But even one good verse can transform your day. You might be surprised, too, how it affects the mood of your home.

The Visual Bible is a great way to watch the dramatization of God's Word with the only words spoken, being pure Scripture (NIV). My kids love watching these, so we can spend time in the Word together!

Scripture Cards are an awesome little way to have verses written out for you. You can just grab one in a pinch and pop it in your purse or put it by the sink, dwelling on one verse for the day.

If you like music, these CD's are great to listen to with your little ones. You will both have fun, joyfully learning God's Word together!

I have several of these little spiral-bound stacks of 3x5's floating around here. I have one in my purse, and one by my bed. When I have the chance to really dive into a written copy of God's Word, my "treasure" verses get written down in one of these. I can take them everywhere.

Sometimes those "treasure" verses get ripped out of the 3x5 spiral and randomly thumbtacked to various walls in my house, or slid into this wonderful magnetic fridge frame.

Do you have some good ideas that you would like to share? I would love to hear them. But for now, I've got to run. I'm really thirsty!

One More Quick One on Forgiveness by Angela Gifford

A couple of Heather and I's pastors recently taught on the subject of forgiveness.  One of the points they made was that often we drink the poison of bitterness, thinking that it will actually kill the person we are mad at. However, it only poisons us. Most of the time, the other person isn't even bothered by the situation.  Sad, but oh, so true.

For those who enjoy podcasts, you can listen to the whole message, or even just read the notes here.

Forgiveness, Part 3: How does this work? by Angela Gifford

I wanted to take a moment to illustrate some practical ways that forgiveness and trust are handled differently. Please know that I don’t make myself out to be an expert. I’m working through this just like anyone else is. There are three people in my past that the Lord has to mercifully push me to actively forgive whenever I think of them, and interestingly enough, the Lord has allowed me to encounter all of them (in one way or another) this month.

The memory of the offense often feels like a repeat offense while you are working through things in your own heart. Also, when there has been no repentance on the part of the offender, they will probably actually repeat their offense. We are challenged by Christ to extend forgiveness for each repeat offense, and with every memory. This is the meaning of Jesus' reference to forgiving 70x7 - for every offense.

So how does this play out? Going back to my Facebook contact, let me just share some practical ways that I see the difference between extending forgiveness/agape love and reactivating your trust/phileo love.

I extended Agape Love and forgiveness by:

1. Choosing to not give names when telling my story, or even the location of the country this happened in since I have moved around a lot
2. Choosing to not publicize the actual volatile words that I struggle with saying when I rethink that time in my life
3. Choosing to not reply to the person with ugliness and accusation
4. Choosing to not ask all our past mutual friends to make a choice between me and them
5. Choosing to reply to the person's initial message with kind inquisitiveness, giving them the benefit of the doubt (assuming the best until proven otherwise)
6. Choosing not to repay vengeance, but let the Lord handle it
7. Choosing to be open in my spirit to reconciliation if God further works in the situation.

I chose not to extend Phileo/Brotherly Love and trust by:

1. Choosing to not allow this person to have access to my personal profile, blog address, e-mail address, etc
2. Choosing to not divulge information about my extended family - even basic details of location or marital status – since my family was the target of their offenses
3. Choosing to not require an apology when it isn't offered
4. Choosing to not require them to be someone they can't be, for my benefit
5. Choosing to not offer fake and guarded friendship, when genuine friendship and trust cannot be offered yet.

All in all forgiveness is very hard. It is a supernatural act of God through our willing heart. Oh, I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cried out to God to help me forgive – the times I’ve uttered the words: “I choose to forgive” out of my sheer will, when my emotions could not yet follow. …and as supernatural as forgiveness is, trust is even more so. It isn’t for cowards. It takes great courage to forgive and to trust. It is just one more way that a Christ-follower actively chooses to daily take up their cross and follow. It requires death to our own selfish desires. But when we die to self, we have the hope of resurrection. What could be better than new life and freedom in our hearts and relationships? I can’t imagine!

If you’d like to discuss this more personally than posting on a public blog, feel free to e-mail me: gifford.angela@yahoo.com.  I share your struggle, and I’d love to pray with you.  

For more encouragement in this area

One of the most incredible speakers I've ever heard on the topic of forgiveness is Jackie Kendall. For those who like to read (and can find the time), she has a brand new book out called, Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness

Jackie also has a CD out, for those of you that have to get your inspiration on the go! You will love her personal, humorous and honest speaking style. Her CD is called "Forgiving the Unforgivable: Becoming a Good Forgiver."

 

Forgivness Part 2: Can you trust again? by Angela Gifford

Though forgiveness doesn't depend on anyone's repentance, trust certainly does. Trust discerns if the offender is a safe person or not. Were they simply ignorant in their actions?  Or if they intentionally caused hurt, are they repentant? Have they changed? Or do they intend to continue to cause damage? 

Forgiveness is a heart attitude. Trust is an activity. Trust actively removes the armor that guards your heart from someone. Trust allows the offender to see and have access to your vulnerable parts. Trust extends phileo (friendship) love.

There is nothing sweeter than the unity of believers. Christ was very clear about the importance of restoring relationships and the steps that should be taken to do so. (Matthew 18). However, Christ also outlines the steps required to restore those relationships and the boundaries that should be drawn when someone refuses to repent.

Trust can only come after we’ve allowed God to heal the heart. Trust should come after full repentance on the part of the offender and after the Lord has prompted you that it is safe to move towards the restoration of a phileo relationship - rather than continuing to simply be a channel of His love.

We are often able to convince ourselves that we have fully forgiven someone, but just aren’t able to trust them yet….and that, in and of itself, is perfectly natural. However, the true test of the state of our heart is if we hope to trust them again. Do we hope to restore the relationship? Do we hope that things can be better some day? Do we pray for it? Do we keep our hearts open and willing? Are we willing for God to do miracles?

Sometimes the lines between forgiveness and trust appear blurry. Next time, we’ll talk about some practical ways that forgiveness and trust play out differently. 

In the meantime, allow me to introduce you to some of my favorite authors, if you haven’t met them already.

 

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is a book that may start an amazing journey in your life. You can order it and many other great resources right here.

Forgiveness - Can "ignore" make someone go away? by Angela Gifford

Facebook is an interesting thing. It enables you to connect with all kinds of people from your past - friends and enemies. Thankfully, on Facebook, you have an "easy button." You can just hit "ignore" when an enemy soldier requests your friendship. But the interesting part, is the feelings that even the request stirs up. You can hit "ignore" to the request. But you can't always just hit "ignore" to the feelings that stir up in your heart.

Not too long ago, someone who had hurt me in the past, requested my friendship on Facebook. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I thought of them. I really believed I had totally forgiven, forgotten, and moved on. In my blissful ignorance, I preferred to believe that they had probably repented and changed...and if they had the opportunity would beg for forgiveness. I have heard of trials they have faced in the years since, and figured that their compassion had probably deepened. But when the Facebook request hit my inbox, I suddenly felt slammed into a wall of anger, frustration, fear, and disbelief.

After taking some time to think, I decided to assume the best. Perhaps they had completely turned around and were looking up all their past victims on Facebook to repent and clear their conscience of their offenses. So, I messaged back and hinted at my surprise and poor memories of our past, giving opportunity to divulge an apology. However, when my comments were meant with silly sarcasm, I realized that this person was at best completely clueless or at worst, still looking to devour. So, I hit the easy button: ignore.

But as I mentioned before, you can't just ignore the whirpool stirred up in your heart. So I was forced to confront and deal with reality and process some things about forgiveness. Here are some things I have processed and a few new that I have learned:

Forgiveness doesn't require anyone else's repentance. Forgiveness is an act of our own heart. It is coming to a deeper understanding of what Christ did for us on the cross and his challenge to us in Matthew 6:12-14. It is accepting God's offer to heal our hearts and “teflon coat” them from bitterness. It is the refusal to allow the hurtful acts of others to damage our soul.

Forgiveness allows us to pass God’s love (or what is called agape love) to the ones that hurt us, even if the relationship isn't healed enough to extend phileo (or brotherly/friendship) love. Forgiveness keeps your heart soft towards the Lord and towards the possibilities of restoring the relationship with the offender.

But forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. So….next time, we’ll talk about that and the possibility of restored relationships.

Is there anyone you need to forgive today?

The Moms of Christmas: Elizabeth - by Angela Gifford

Tucked in the Christmas story is perhaps one of the best outlines I’ve ever seen for moms to follow in encouraging each other.

We talked about Mary last week. This week, let’s look at Elizabeth for a little bit. Elizabeth was old, she had been infertile her whole life, and was the wife of a priest. Six months before Mary is told she is carrying the son of God, Elizabeth’s husband is also greeted by an angel who informs him that his old, barren wife will have a son - a son whose life mission will be to prepare the way for the son of God.

There are so many applications in this story, that I find it very difficult to stay on track. We could talk about Zechariah, and his unbelief. We could talk about Elizabeth’s support of her husband. We could talk about the symbolism of Zechariah’s role, and the prayers they offered…but I’m going to focus on another aspect.

I try to picture the scene in my head. The Scripture leaves out so many details. Can you imagine your husband coming home from work? He has had an incredible encounter with God, and he can’t talk. (To read the whole story, go here). The news he has received effects you as much as him. I wonder how he shared the news with Elizabeth - or if he did. Maybe she just found out she was pregnant like any other woman does. I don’t know, but I wonder.

Elizabeth, a woman who has been (as she put it) disgraced by the people for her life-long barrenness, is now carrying a child. Mary, who is facing the disgrace of being an unwed, teen mother, has been told she is carrying the son of God. I think about family gatherings they may have had in the past. Did they have much in common? Elizabeth was old. Mary was very young. I’m sure Mary hung out with the young girls and played dolls or as she grew, talked about the men they hoped might want them as a wife. While Elizabeth probably hung out with Mary’s mom, or grandma even…doing the cooking and talking about adult kinds of things. Did they even really know each other really? Did they even have anything in common until now?

But there is something bigger than age, or lifestyle, or seasons of life when it comes to the need for real fellowship and encouragement. There is a need for understanding the struggles that you are going through, the crisis points, and what God is doing in your life. Here Elizabeth and Mary put aside all the things they don’t have in common, and focus on what they do.

Mary comes to Elizabeth, and in one beautiful greeting, explodes open an action plan for all of us moms to use in encouraging each other. “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!”

Blessed are you…and blessed is your child

I don’t know about you, but very little encourages me more as a mom, than when others oogle over my kids and praise their beauty, character, and life to me. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at just getting out the door, and keeping everyone together. When someone makes a fuss over my kids, it confirms me as a mom and helps me love my kids even more. It helps me see the joys I’m missing, through the eyes of someone else. Elizabeth blessed Mary. But she also blessed her child.

Why am I so favored?

Elizabeth made it known that Mary’s visit was an honor. Mary couldn’t call ahead and tell Elizabeth to clean her house or get the bedding ready and make some hors d'oeuvres. She just showed up. Elizabeth didn’t quiver at the inconvenience or what she didn’t have ready. She welcomed her and fussed over the honor of her presence.

Blessed is she who has believed.

Elizabeth commended Mary for her faith, for believing God and taking Him at His Word. Mary may have actually been struggling a bit with this when she arrived. But moments later, after the encouragement of her wise, older cousin, she is singing her song of praise to God. Her faith has been built.

This passage has stuck to my ribs more than oatmeal, when it comes to how I relate to other women. For someone who is a bit task -oriented and learning daily how to build meaningful relationships, I have clung to this outline.

I hope you are blessed, and I hope you have the opportunity to put it into practice and bless someone else today!

The Moms of Christmas: Mary - by Angela Gifford

I love God’s Word. I especially love to find ways it speaks specifically to moms. So I’d like to take my next few posts to reflect on Christmas from the perspective of the moms involved in the story.

I was reading today about Mary in Luke 1.  At that time and culture, most girls became engaged at the time they “arrived” at womanhood.  Most scholars believe that Mary was a young teenager, we don’t know for sure.

We also know that Mary had found favor with God. It seems only fitting that the God of the Universe would choose someone who loved Him to become the mother of the Son of God.

Mary was engaged to be married. In that time and culture, an engagement was as legally binding as marriage, requiring a divorce to dissolve. It was a marriage that had not been consummated. If one was unfaithful during engagement, it was considered adultery. Under Hebrew law, adulterers were often stoned to their death.

So Mary, probably a young teenage girl, who was favored by God, and engaged to be married, is minding her business one day when the angel Gabriel appears to her and tells her that she is highly favored by God and has been chosen to give birth to the Son of God. You can imagine the mixed emotions. First of all, yes, what an honor! Then I wonder if her thoughts flash to: I could be stoned. How can this be? Who will believe me? Is this true? Am I seeing things? Am I hearing things? Will I lose Joseph?

Mary wasn’t stupid. She asked the angel, in not so many words, “How on earth can this be true?! I’m a virgin! How can I be pregnant? How can I give birth to anyone?”

The angel tells her that she will become pregnant by the Holy Spirit when the power of the Most High overshadows her. It sounds a little sci-fi-ish to me. I don’t know about you, but I like to know how things work. I like concrete answers. I want to understand!

God knows our makeup. He knows what each of us needs. The angel tells Mary that her elderly, barren cousin, Elizabeth is also pregnant. This is said to help Mary realize that NOTHING is impossible with God.

I get a hint that Mary may have been a bit like me. She humbly says, “May it be to me as you have said.” But then the Bible says that she hurried to visit Elizabeth in the hill country. I think she had to know if it was really true. I mean if Elizabeth wasn’t pregnant, than surely she was just losing her mind and seeing aliens. But if Elizabeth could confirm what she’d seen and heard, maybe, just maybe this was all true.

I wonder if Mary told anyone about her visit from the angel before she headed for the hills? I wonder if she had already faced some persecution? I wonder how scared she was? I wonder if she was excited?

I never noticed until today that the song of praise Mary sings to God happened after she went to Elizabeth and had all the news confirmed. It really was true. Elizabeth was with child. Elizabeth, the godly, older wife of a priest confirmed that Mary was carrying the son of God in her womb.

Then she praised God.

Oh, how often I am like Mary! …and it encourages my heart so much to know that there is no condemnation towards this young mom for needing to understand, for needing to have things confirmed. But I believe the key to her favor of God was her obedient, willing spirit. She obeyed before she understood, and then God honored her need for confirmation and further understanding.

My heart and prayer this week, is that I demonstrate the humility and availability of Mary to be used by God for His purposes - that I would be willing to obey whether or not I understand - that I wouldn’t be afraid to run after truth and seek answers - that I would Glory in His purposes and rejoice in God my Savior.

How about you?

Playing Well by Angela Gifford

My eight year old is trying basketball for the first time this year. For whatever reason, the parks and rec department loaded most of the other teams with 10 and 11 players. But Riley’s team has six. That means only one boy at a time gets a little rest on the bench. They are the special team. They have an amazing coach that actually teaches college basketball camps. He works with fundamentals, encourages the kids, and doesn’t down them for lack of performance. He is involved so that the boy he and his wife adopted late in life could have an outlet for exercise.

So you can imagine what a typical game is like. A team of six boys against a team of eleven. The other coaches are drilling their boys to win at all costs. Our boys get elbowed in the jaw, knocked down, and have to pretty much play the whole game no matter how tired they get. Their goal: to make A basket, so the game isn’t a total shut-out. The other team rotates in and out to have fresh players, with scoring their only motivation. We’ve lost 39-2; 24-2; and 24-6.

During the last game, I noticed how often our boys would pause, glance at the scoreboard, let their    shoulders sag, and struggle to even try. We kept cheering them on, “Stay in there!” “It’s o.k.” At one point, my poor little guy ran to the bleachers, buried his head in his hands, and resolved to forfeit. It is hard to not focus on the score and keep your mind on playing well.

It got me thinking about the temptation to live life always looking at the proverbial scoreboard. I think during times like this in our economy, it is very difficult for us to not all be looking at the bottom line. In other words, gauging the quality of life on our net worth. As we watch investments plummet, deal with layoffs, and struggle with mortgages, it is easy to look around and feel like we are losing the game.

We stand on the sidelines and cheer on our kids: “Don’t give up! The score isn’t important. You can still win! It’s how you play that counts.” But we go home and lay awake all night worrying about if we’ll ever have a house as nice as so and so’s. The tension can cause short tempers towards our little ones and others we love, that have nothing to do with the problem.

For those who belong to the Lord, we have the hope of eternity. We already have a mansion in heaven. This life is but a tiny glimpse of forever. We already know that in the end we win. So let’s stop looking at the scoreboard here and focus on how we are living life. Are we playing well? Are we more concerned about encouraging our teammates than making the next shot?

Here’s to staying in the game and playing well! 

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:31-34 NLT

Prepare the way! by Angela Gifford

"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." Psalm 50:23

Doesn't your heart just melt when your kids say thank you? I'm reminded of Beth Moore sharing how one of her dauthers used to call for her bottle in the morning, by yelling, "Thank you! Thank you!" from her crib. It honestly made Beth want to jump up and get the bottle, because it was just so precious.

I Thessalonians 5:18 says, "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Giving thanks in EVERY THING is hard! I love the fact that God understands that it is often a sacrifice to be thankful. I've come to learn, too, that God hears the thanksgiving of His children and is moved to act on their behalf- just as Beth wanted to get her daughter's bottle.

When we choose to thank God in spite of our circumstances, we not only tender His heart toward us, but we set in motion a change in our own hearts. Gratefulness, like patience and love, is not a feeling. It is a choice. When we make the choice to be thankful, our feelings often choose to follow.

This week, we are all reminded to show an attitude of gratefulness that should be a daily habit. It isn't a daily habit for me. Sometimes, I need to have a little help getting my attitude in line. So I wanted to share with you, one of my favorite resources.

31 Days of Praiseby Ruth Meyer is a great little resource to help jumpstart your day. There is a short reading for each day of the month, that helps the reader pray through passages of Scripture focusing on God, His character, and all He's done for us.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Are You Wearing Good Shoes Today? by Angela Gifford

I have a bit of a thing for shoes. I can't help it. It is in the Balzer family blood. We tend to buy shoes first, and then find clothes to go with them. Unfortunately, my collection of forty or so pair that I had pre-motherhood quickly dwindled down to that two good trusty pairs per season as my feet grew a little each pregnancy. I'm finally rebuilding the collection a little here and there.

If you share my passion, you probably have (like me), a justifiable reason for each pair you purchase. After all, the gloom of a rainy day can be handled much more effectively if you have pink, plaid rainboots! Nothing makes a mom feel "hot" again like some high-healed, black leather boots. You can't golf well without golf shoes, and it would be silly to wear sandles in the snow or snow boots to the beach. Shoes have a purpose.

Shoes tend to also make me feel prepared for what I'm facing in the day. If I need confidence, I wear shoes that feel bold, chunky, and powerful. If I feel I need to be a little more light-hearted, I wear my ballet-style flats and glide through the day. If I want to be completely focused on the needs of others and not draw attention to myself in any way, I tend to wear my humble, brown loafers.

Okay, maybe I'm a bit over-the-top with this shoe thing, but I'm not alone. Even Fly Lady suggests that a stay at home mom dress down to her shoes in the morning, so she can face her day prepared for her job. There is something about shoes that makes one feel prepared and ready.

In Ephesians, Paul gives us instructions on how to arm ourselves spiritually and prepare for spiritual warfare. I find it interesting that the armor for the feet is described in this way: "For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared." Ephesians 6:15 NLV

I don't know if your home is like mine, but in my house (filled with testosterone), everything can turn into a battle. Everything somehow can be a sword. Wrestling is the favorite activity. Even our story- time puppet show tonight turned into combat between the octopus and the crab. You may not have four boys like me; but most of our homes often feel like a battle zone. We are either fighting a broken washing machine, stomach flu, or terrible twos. It is always something. God's Word instructs us to be prepared by putting on the peace that comes from embracing the good news in His Word.

I once heard someone compare our role as moms to that of a thermostat, rather than a thermometer. We are to set the temperature of our homes, not just read and react to the temperature. We need to set the tone for peace. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have any basis for peace in my heart without the assurance of God's Word. I have to intentionally prepare myself on a daily basis to be a peacemaker.

What about you? Are you ready? Have you put good shoes on today?

Pull Yourself Together! by Angela Gifford

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave to you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1: 5-9 NIV

When I first met my husband. I was an early bird. I would get up at 5:00 a.m., run to the gym for a workout, shower at the gym, and head to work by 7:00. I was ready for bed by 9:00 p.m. After a few years, though, my zeal wore off. By the time my third baby came, I had established a new, rather hap-hazard routine. I’d stay up until midnight or even later trying to catch up all the things that needed to be done before the next day. Then in the morning, I’d roll out of bed at the last possible minute. I will even admit, that I occasionally dropped my kids off at school in my p.j.s with a coat thrown over the top. I was exhausted when I woke up in the morning and would begin my day completely unprepared for battle. Chaotically swatting my way through each day, I would then end it by staying up until midnight or so trying to catch up. My routine became a viscous cycle that I could not break, and my family was reaping the results.

A long “no school” day revealed weakness after weakness in my parenting and my patience. I felt completely out of control and knew my kids were not turning out at all like I had planned. On my way home from rushing a bill to the post office, my mind was bombarded with guilt and accusations: “You’re a failure.” “You’ve completely lost control.” “You can’t even stay at home and do a good job.” My spirit was crumbling beneath the weight when I pulled up to a four way stop. I stopped and waited for the sign  to turn green , while the cars from the other three directions took their usual turns through the intersection. I’m amazed no one ever honked at me. I was having a moment. Visions of Edna Mode, slapping me across the face, flashed through my head. "Pull! Yourself!" Together!" Finally, I snapped out of it, realized that the sign would never turn green, and sheepishly made my way through the intersection. I knew I had to get my act together.

The next day, I made myself get out of bed at 5:00. O.K. 5:15. I didn’t hear the alarm the first time. I was exhausted, but I told myself (and the devil) that I was getting up to meet with God. I showered, dressed, poured my first Nalgene of water, read Romans 4 (reminding myself that I’ll never be good enough, but it’s o.k. because God credits my account of righteousness by my faith…not my works), stretched, did some sit-ups (my poor c-section abs), and wrote out a passage of Scripture from Joshua chapter one to memorize. The passage was challenging Joshua (and me) to be strong and courageous. I tore into those two words to get a sense of their meaning, and God met with me right there. Part of the meaning of the Hebrew word for “strong” is encourage, seize hold, make repairs, establish oneself firmly, rally strength. The word for “courageous” encompasses determination and persistence.

Oh, Jesus, you know right where I’m at. Right then and there, God told me it was time to rally my strength, establish myself firmly, and be determined to make the repairs I needed to make in my chaotic life.

I’m not sure what you’re facing today; but chances are, you also have an area of life that needs strengthened. The beauty of this passage, though, is the other concept that is also mentioned repeatedly. God promises to never leave us. He says, “ I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you. I will be with you wherever you go.” The Hebrew word for “leave” means to hang limp, sink down, be feeble, to be lazy, abandon, leave alone, withdraw, show oneself slack. I laugh just picturing it. God promises never to leave us hanging limp! He won’t leave us feeble, alone, or abandoned. He won’t ever be slack! Rally your strength, sister, for your strength is in Him! Oh, how I cling to that. Know that you can establish yourself firmly, when He is your foundation. You can count on Him to help you make repairs wherever you’ve caused damage. Ask God today to pour a little extra persistence and determination into your spirit. He will not fail you!

'Tis the Season (by new guest blogger, Angela Gifford)

Hi! Another guest blogger here! I'm Angela Gifford, and I'm the new Customer Sevice Assistant at Mom 4 Life. I'll be sharing more of my story in weeks to come, but for now...I've been married to my wonderful husband, Bill, for twelve years.  We have four incredible boys, ages 11, 8, 6, and 4. Yes, they were born in six and a half years, during which, we moved six times, and spent five years in grad school. My life of adventure has let me live everywhere from Miami to Chicago to Phoenix to Seattle; but now our family lives tucked away at the bottom of a mountain in North Idaho where deer trot through the yard in the morning to find the apples that dropped overnight and wild turkey strut through in the afternoon. Before joining the Mom 4 Life team, I was a stay at home mom for eleven years. Last year I was a coordinator for MOPS, which is how I came to know and love Heather. I LOVE to read. I love God's Word. I love coffee, and I love friends - and I really love it when two or three of those things can happen together. My biggest passion, though, and my reason for blogging, is to encourage moms with young children in their pursuit of God. You can read more of the Gifford happenings and my somewhat random thoughts at Angela's Musings.

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I love fall! I love everything about it. I love the crunch of leaves under my feet, the golden hues carpeting the lawn, blushing apples on the trees, pumpkin patches, hay rides, apple cider, spicy candles, Thanksgiving. There is a special way that the sun shines in the fall - a soft, happy glow, much less intense than the summer sun. If I could make fall last all year long, I certainly would. But alas, it is not to be. Fall transitions to winter, and I have to wait a whole nine months to enjoy it all again.

When I lived in Arkansas, I would wish for fall with an even greater intensity. This northern girl could hardly bare the muggy, buggy, intense heat that summer would bring. I longed for warmth that wasn’t sweltering, for a fresh breeze that might halt the perspiration from pouring down my face. I craved a cool evening to sit outside and refresh, but the nights didn’t even cool down. It was always hot, always humid, and always bulging with insects. I wished I could skip summer altogether. But alas, it was not to be.

Such it is with the seasons of life. As moms of young children, we are in the intense part of life, enduring the heat, the pressure, and constant kinks in our plans. It is the fullest part of life. Sometimes it seems it would be nice to skip it all and move on to the fall, where the sun glows warmly, but isn’t so intense – where we enjoy the fruits of our labor, but could miss some of the heat it takes to produce it. Wouldn’t it be nice if all or our kiddos could be out of diapers, without going through the process of potty training? Or if they all were born knowing how to tie their own shoes?

But alas….it is not to be! You see, there would be no blushing apples without the intense sun to ripen them and no crunching leaves if the summer hadn’t used them first. There would be no pumpkin patches, no dried out hay, and no appreciation for the cool breeze. In the same way, we can’t skip the summer of our lives. It is the season of growth – for us as moms and for the people our kids grow into.

There’s a funny little, lesser-known book in the Bible called, Ecclesiastes. It’s not a place I’d recommend you begin reading if God’s Word is new to you, but there is a passage in there that is pretty well known, thanks to The Byrds: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot….a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to morn and a time to dance….What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. (from Ecclesiastes 3)

It is sometimes difficult for us to grasp the beauty that is to come in its time. I struggle with grasping it when I’m wrestling my four boys through the grocery store, only thinking about getting home before the migraine kicks in. Then I pass an older couple who grin and giggle at my boys, grab my sleeve, lean in close, and say that all familiar phrase (with a twinkle in their eye), "Enjoy it while you can. It goes by so fast!" I politely smile and try not to mutter my response: "Yes. I know."

The seasons do go by quickly. That is something I’m learning even more this fall. I enjoyed eleven years at home with my boys. There were days in the midst of diapers and runny noses and stomach flu that I would have done anything to be somewhere else. Now, I get to serve moms all day at Mom 4 Life. I drop all my kids off at school, and enjoy a quiet office for the day. It is fun….and a little sad. I can’t believe that season is over. There are no more nursings in the middle of the night, no more diapers, no more infant seats….and much less time with my children.

Are you struggling with this season of life? Wishing that things would cool down a bit, and you could enjoy more fruit and less labor? Maybe today would be a good time to ask God to remind you of the seasons yet to come, to help you see the necessity in your current season to produce the joy of the next. I think I'm going to do that right now!