Rock or Sand? by Heather Ledeboer

First of all, thank you to those of you who posted comments to the question, "What are you learning today?"  It is reassuring that we are all in process and learning isn't it?  We are all learning a lot of the same lessons it seems, just in different settings and on different time lines.

Because of the topic of yesterday's post, I started today wondering what I would be learning.  Half way through the day I started feeling a little anxious because I didn't know what I was learning yet (can you see a little type A personality here--I am starting to freak out because I can't answer my own question:).  But late in the afternoon a lesson started taking shape, phew!

I mentioned before that landscaping our yard is in the early stages of progress.  Today we had some work done to lay a cement pad in front of our garage.  The work began early (I woke up to this strange grinding sound outside my bedroom window) and later after I was dressed, I accompanied Hunter and Ashlyn to the garage to watch the men working.  We observed as they first dug out several inches of dirt from the area where the cement would be laid.  After removing the dirt, they leveled out the surface.   Then they marked out the borders with wood.  Next a layer of gravel was poured in the chosen area and again, leveled out. Tomorrow the work should continue and from what i understand they will lay re bar and then pour the cement. 

I was thinking about this process and the time and work involved in preparing the area for the cement to be laid.  It sort of sucks that you have to do all that work beforehand and can't just skip right to the pouring the cement stage.  I pondered this project for a while thinking perhaps there could be a deeper lesson learned (see now I am starting to train my mind to LOOK for lessons in my day, this is good progress I think!).  What I started realizing was that any project that is designed to have lasting value must first have proper preparation.  The foundation is everything.  Think of painting a house and all the scraping and sanding that has to be done before hand.  Think of building a house and the foundation and framework needed first.  Now think of life.  If I need to learn a lesson of lasting value it would make sense, based on all the examples above, that I can't simply jump directly to the end result lesson and call it a day.  The lessons I can learn from this journey will be revealed in stages as the "project" progresses.  More importantly, how I view this journey will be determined by what foundation has been laid up to this point in my life.  There is a Sunday School song that goes something like this: "Don't build your house on the sandy land, don't build it too near the shore.  Oh it might look kind of nice but you'll have to build it twice, oh you'll have to build your house once more.  You've got to build your house upon a rock, make a good foundation on a solid spot.  Well the storms may come and go but the peace of God you will know, ya the peace of God you will know."  I found a nice little YouTube video of this song for those of you who are not familiar with the tune;).  So what I am learning today is that foundation is everything.  If I you don't pay attention to the details that go into the foundation of your life, where you put your trust, place your faith, find your strength, then the final result will be weak.  A weak result can mean disaster when put to the test.  How we weather a storm isn't so much about "our" strength (or lack of it) but rather how firm our foundation is and what it is built on.  So when people say "Heather, you are so strong, I don't think I could handle this in the same way you are." I can simply say, "I am not strong, my foundation is strong."

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 7:25-27

How you can pray:
-We sent my placenta in for testing at the end of last week in an effort to try to find out why Sawyer died.  I will be doing blood work with a specialist on the 16th of next month.  Please pray that we can find out what happened, both for closure and also to know if there is anything specific we should be aware of for any future pregnancies.

What I am thankful for:
-Today (23 days after finding out Sawyer was no longer living) I had several moments of "living" without the pain of Sawyer's absence from our lives.  Until today it felt that there was pain just under he surface at all times.  Today it wasn't there ALL the time.

Comments

[me in South Africa]

Good morning Heather. Today we have the same process happening in our garden. When we bought our house the concrete in front of our house was breaking up badly. My mom tripped in one of the cracks and almost got badly hurt in her fall. Yesterday we finally decided it was time to fix it - and as you rightly said, the foundations for this patch was never done properly - in some places only a cm think. We had the same preparation process happening here yesterday and today we are pouring the concrete. Thanks for the new lesson with regards to what is happening in my own backyard. If the cracks appear people can get hurt by our cracks... so better we build a good foundation into our lives and that of our families.

[Rachel Johnson]

I know that this kinda goes with yesterdays post, but I have learned that God takes my prayers and uses them to help people that I have not even meet in person. How awesome is you Father and how great he is to all of us.

I'm glad that you seem to be doing better since your foundation with God is getting stronger to help you up.

[Kori]

Heather I have been reading your blog for weeks now and have never commented before now. I have prayed for you many, many times.

You are so right about the foundation being the upmost important part of your faith. I have struggled many days with this. I have had my moments where I am mad and angry at God. But then I realize that it is He who continues to Love me and comfort me through those times.

[Jessica]

Heather, I am so happy for your moments of pain-free living. I have been praying that God would bless you with a few. To enjoy them is a step of faith. Blessings to you as you learn the lessons that they bring and learn to enjoy the peace all at the same time.

[Jen]

Hi Heather,

I continue to pray for you and your family daily. I love seeing what your prayer requests are at the end of your daily blog and seeing your pain gradually decrease as time progresses. My friend recently lost her 3 year old son and through your blog, I am learning how to encourage her healing process. I have found so many Bible verses on your blog that I can share with her as she struggles with this pain. Again, thank you for all that you share.

[Alexia]

That is so true. What a wonderful way of putting it. It's a great checkpoint for me to make sure my foundation is solid. I'm the kind of person who skips all the preparation steps...

[Lori]

Heather,
I also have been reading your post for a while but have never left you a comment before. I am so sorry for your loss but I am so thankful that you are turning to Christ for comfort.
I have shared about you with a group of ladies that I have a bible study with and how much you have impacted my life. I also shared how I couldn't imagine living the path that God has you walking down. My very knowledgeable friend told me that God doesn't give the grace needed for the "what if's". God gives His all sufficient grace for the moment that we need it. It hit me like a ton of bricks (she has a way of doing that though). He is always laying the foundation and preparing us for the next step-even though sometimes we cannot see where our foot may land.
I will be praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your walk with all of us.

[erin]

glad 2 hear ur moving forward (not on). i have days where i go the whole day without thinking of my dad, until the night and then i wonder how/why i did it. but u have to to get ur self to move forward. soon u can smile at the thoughts have him, but still with tears in ur eyes. but u will smile.